Hi! My name is Nick. I want to share this mini story of mine because I'm still confused if this feelings I have for a best friend of mine is just for friendship or more. I met this Girl named Julie when I was still a student way back several years ago in college. By that time she has her own circle of friends and I have mine as well, but due to some sort of activities in school, I started to know her better and luckily we became friends.
Julie and I became closer because we have a lot of things in common. I was welcomed in her circle of friends and soon treated me as their new brother. In the group, aside from Julie, I also met Candice, the most jolly in the group. we're click in some ways especially on our fun times, laughter and even on the other side, I mean when we're down, talking about serious things. One of the group is Sarah. She was sometimes, the opposite of Candice but not totally opposite, she always happened to be one of my group mates since the groupings were based according to our surnames, alphabetically. And Yanna,who's really a good dancer and always have this great sense when it comes to fashion and styling. Obviously, I am the only guy in the group, and I don't care what other people has to say, anyway it's always the same old brand new issues so the hell I care right? :)
Me and my new friends managed to enroll for another semester together and I was able to be close to my new friends and to Julie even more. During our 2nd year in college, I met this girl named Kristine who's also our classmate, I admit, at first I got a crush on her, because she's like the modern type of girl, she's sporty, fierce but she admired another friend of mine and she has some vices that I don't like and I don't think that fits a girl, so it's a major turn off for me. But luckily, she has a friend who caught my attention. Her name is Amanda.
How will I describe Amanda? she's like one of the boys, jolly, wise etc. We exchange numbers and started texting. On a conversation we had, she admitted that she had a crush on me so I was like overwhelmed and shocked, but felt loved even though it's just a crush. We also started our friendly dates, we ate outside after classes, watched movies together if there's a time etc etc. Julie and our friends at first had no idea on what was going on between me and Amanda, though I give them some hints but still they remained clueless. Sooner, Amanda became my 1st girlfriend wherein at first it did not sink in my mind, and some questions came out, how? hahaha seems like I did not have the guts to court her that often, however I'm still happy with what had happened.
In the middle of our relationship, we have this on and off, arguments etc, and that's the time I told my friends about our relationship, and I'm so happy that they supported my relationship with her even at times of not so good convos and arguments. We also had this on and off in our relationship, which I admit that it's my fault, even though I'm loyal to her, but I don't have lots of time to spend with her since semesters passed, she had shifted to another course. and during our last year in college, our relationship had ended. I just concentrated with my studies.
Final year in college was very tough, we have to go through lots and lots of exams for us to graduate. First half of the final year, we've met a new set of circle of friends, and had the chance to get close to them. We also have groupings that time and Julie had met this guy, a classmate of ours, named Russell. Julie and Russell easily became close and as the day goes by, became closer and closer. Russell is a smart guy, sweet and nice. There comes a time that I got jealous though I have no right to be jealous. The following semester, Julie and Russell became in a relationship, and I was like WHAAATT? and asking myself, "why do I get jealous?" , "why do I feel this way?" feels like I did not just lose a best friend, but a love as well, but why should I since in the first place, Julie and I have no relationship and commitment with each other, and I'm pretty sure that what I felt that time, was not the same how she felt when me and Amanda were together.
Julie always have a special place in my heart, we have a lot of things in common, we have a lot of same interests, we were buddies in so many ways, food trip buddies, music buddies, my singing partner, etc, but she's now with Russell. Sometimes, our friends teased me and Julie, when we sang together or when Julie's away and our friends and I heard songs we used to sing,. Their relationship became stronger and continued after graduating in college. But, relationship must go through a lot of tests for them to be able to survive and became stronger and stronger. Few months after our graduation, Russell and his family moved to Canada and I guess lived there for a long period of time. This Long Distance Relationship thing tested their relationship but unfortunately, they failed to survived and Julie ended their relationship. By that time i just don't know how to react; there's a side of me that says "yes, at least I just have this opportunity to tell my feelings for her!" but there's another side of me that felt sorry for her, and that I have to be a best friend, a good listener and a crying shoulder to her. But I only had the chance to see Julie again several months after they broke up, so we chatted and she opened about what happened and surprisingly, she already moved on and I'm happy for her.
Julie decided to study another course and I began working. Among our circle of friends, Julie and I had the chance to go out more often than with the others. We make sure that our schedule matched the day we wanted to go out. Sometimes we were inviting, Sarah, Candice, Yana and the others but due to busy schedules, still the two of us able to go out. We watched movies together, we ate outside, etc, but it's just a friendly date, but for me, there's nothing to lose but more to gain...A friendship that no one knows might become a lot deeper but for know I am enjoying my company with her as best friends, best buddies etc.
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